I admit that I get quite the kick from watching Bill Maher on HBO. I find his guests to be interesting and his panel discussions entertaining and educational. But, I most enjoy the show when there is heated debate as differing opinions and view points are passionately discussed by the panelists and Bill.
I find this adversarial and confrontational atmosphere brings the best out of the participants and really puts the viewer in a better position to make a call on what they think is the best argument that either confirms or challenges their previous notion on what is the "right" answer or position. It's almost fitting it is on HBO, because the panel was a squared-ring setting, they could package it as Intellectual HBO Boxing!
O_o...Anyways... some people find it really hard to honestly consider the other side of a topic. Especially when they have already decided to bat for the other team. Why is that? Why would someone not want to challenge a belief or notion they have about something? There are a few reasons.
Most people hate change. They don't want to leave their comfort zone. They'd rather stagnate in the familiar confines of mediocrity. Considering the possibility that "the other side" might be right would pop their reality bubble - and that would mean change in a big way. It is safer to "irrationalize" away the plausibility. Think of a child who doesn't want to hear what you are saying because they know you are right. They simply put a finger in each ear and loudly sing "la la la la..." and drown out your message when you are talking to them. Effective, but definitely limiting their ability to think outside of their personal box.
Related to fear of change is the fear that your current beliefs and values might not be true. Opening yourself up to really hear and try to understand a different viewpoint or an argument that tries to refute your beliefs is not easy to do. To do so means being open to completely reevaluating how you live your life, how you interact with people, how you interpret the world around you. That is intimidating to say the least. Maybe even ground-shaking! What if your conviction is shaken? What if you "life model" is broken? Houston, we may have a problem!
These scary outcomes should be reason enough to say that living life on autopilot may be the best choice. Well, consider this! Strengthening your convictions and values comes from testing them, challenging them, trying to break them. How do you know if you really 'believe' something to be true and right for you if you never test it?! You can't know, you won't know until you try to pull them at the seams to see if they will break. It is okay to remain indecisive and to fully and properly weigh both sides of an argument. That makes sense to me. Voraciously digest all relevant and differing positions on a topic, challenge your belief, make it pass the test! Only then will you know why you believe and stand behind what you do.
Blind faith is nothing more than that... blind.... and afraid to face any challenge, lest it fails. Tested faith is what you should strive for. Don't lock yourself into something until you KNOW it is the right decision for you and your character.
Next time you see a show like Real Time with Bill Maher, don't roll your eyes and say to yourself, "this show is bias and is full of crap," but instead turn it on and really listen to what is being said. If it goes against your stance on the topic, honestly and openly challenge your views by trying to understand the differing opinion. Put your prior analysis to the test to see if it passes! The same can be said when you agree with one panelist's argument. Open your mind and heart up to the counter argument and really put the screws to your personal stance. Never quit questioning and challenging! Only then will you grow more confident in your chosen values.
I can't wait to see what is on this Friday night... Seth MacFarlane always has some interesting things to say! I wonder if Stewie and Brian, the talking dog, will make an appearance. I love their banter.
Welly's out...
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Saturday, September 11, 2010
May The "Johari" Be With You!
I love to learn. It keeps my mind sharp. Words on the page of a book intermix with my thoughts in my head to create an imagination full of possibilities and opportunities. I enjoy that as I feel inspired and refreshed everytime.
Currently I am pursuing my MBA and began classes a week ago. My organizational behavior class has been great so far. In fact, I look forward to my readings and the discussions within our online forums every time. The reason I enrolled in the class was to learn more about management, organizations, and corporate leadership. Boy, did I underestimate what I would take away from this course!
Hey! Get this... Have you ever really considered how much you know about someone? Whether it is your husband or wife, best friend, child, co-worker or a stranger... it doesn't matter... I can tell you this...you don't know as much as you think. Funnily enough, they don't know themselves as well as they may think either. Take a look at this...
The Johari Window, named after two dudes Joseph Luft and Harry Ingram, tells us an interesting story. Let me explain. Everyone knows the "open area" of an individual. It is what we show to everyone when we interact with them, and we are aware of this ourselves. But, there are two quadrants that are hidden (or blind) which conceals information or characteristics from others, or ourselves in the case of the blind section. There is even an unknown quadrant that is buried deep within someone, so much so, that the person themselves is not aware of it. Kinda scary...
So Welly, what's your point?
As people, we usually are quick to jump to a conclusion about others we meet. For example, you may meet someone who is sleeping on the side of the street, wearing dirty raggedly clothes, unshaven and smelling of alcohol. Almost immediately, you begin to make assumptions. You may think that he has no money, he is an alcoholic, has no job, lazy, doesn't care about his looks, and the list could go on and on. Before you know it, you have already labeled this person and boxed him into a corner. All of these ideas and assumptions begin with 1/4 of the picture - which is the "open area" in the Johari Window. Perhaps, he is unaware of some of his issues and characteristics - this would be a part his "blind area". If you stop to think about it... you have based your label or opinion on, at best, one half of what there is to known or learn about someone. There's a lot of missing information in that equation! You know nothing about the hidden area, which he keeps to himself. Perhaps he is simply traveling through the area, trying to experience life differently from what he is used to, a life of luxury and riches. Who knows! You don't! Only he does. Don't forget about the "unknown area".
Time to consciously stop making snap judgments on people we meet. Take a moment and make an effort to really get to know the person. Simply by getting to know someone, you may even help them learn more about themselves by sharing some of their "blind" spots with them. This sharing will likely lead them to open up some of there "hidden" treasures to you. Before you know it, you will begin to know the real person standing in front of you. Awesome. Imagine all the people out there who you may truly not know. Time to make the effort to really get to know them. Break them out of the prison you created out of your assumptions and bias judgments. You may find some diamonds in the rough, so to speak.
With that, Welly out and... May the "Johari" be with you!
Currently I am pursuing my MBA and began classes a week ago. My organizational behavior class has been great so far. In fact, I look forward to my readings and the discussions within our online forums every time. The reason I enrolled in the class was to learn more about management, organizations, and corporate leadership. Boy, did I underestimate what I would take away from this course!
Hey! Get this... Have you ever really considered how much you know about someone? Whether it is your husband or wife, best friend, child, co-worker or a stranger... it doesn't matter... I can tell you this...you don't know as much as you think. Funnily enough, they don't know themselves as well as they may think either. Take a look at this...
 |
| Source: McShane & Von Glinow. (2010). Organizational Behavior. 5th Ed. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Irwin |
So Welly, what's your point?
As people, we usually are quick to jump to a conclusion about others we meet. For example, you may meet someone who is sleeping on the side of the street, wearing dirty raggedly clothes, unshaven and smelling of alcohol. Almost immediately, you begin to make assumptions. You may think that he has no money, he is an alcoholic, has no job, lazy, doesn't care about his looks, and the list could go on and on. Before you know it, you have already labeled this person and boxed him into a corner. All of these ideas and assumptions begin with 1/4 of the picture - which is the "open area" in the Johari Window. Perhaps, he is unaware of some of his issues and characteristics - this would be a part his "blind area". If you stop to think about it... you have based your label or opinion on, at best, one half of what there is to known or learn about someone. There's a lot of missing information in that equation! You know nothing about the hidden area, which he keeps to himself. Perhaps he is simply traveling through the area, trying to experience life differently from what he is used to, a life of luxury and riches. Who knows! You don't! Only he does. Don't forget about the "unknown area".
Time to consciously stop making snap judgments on people we meet. Take a moment and make an effort to really get to know the person. Simply by getting to know someone, you may even help them learn more about themselves by sharing some of their "blind" spots with them. This sharing will likely lead them to open up some of there "hidden" treasures to you. Before you know it, you will begin to know the real person standing in front of you. Awesome. Imagine all the people out there who you may truly not know. Time to make the effort to really get to know them. Break them out of the prison you created out of your assumptions and bias judgments. You may find some diamonds in the rough, so to speak.
With that, Welly out and... May the "Johari" be with you!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Dr. Leila takes on the World!
"Whether you prevail or fail, endure or die, depends more on what you do to yourself than on what the world does to you." ~ Jim Collins
There is no way better to say this. This speaks to me. It tells me that you make your life, not that life makes you. Time to step into the game and begin to play it with a renewed sense of purpose and possibility.
One of my favorite things to do with my daughter Leila is to listen to her play "make believe." There is nothing more entertaining and great for her to be doing as a five year old. Just the other day, she put on a tiny white lab coat, a plastic stethoscope around her neck, and a plastic clipboard with a prescription pad in her hands. She quite proudly exclaimed that she was "Dr. Leila" and that she was helping her sick stuffed toys get better. I asked her a simple question, "why do you want to be a doctor?" "Because I want to help people," was her quick reply. I let out one more question, "how are you going to become a doctor?" I thought I would stump her for a second with this query. I could then talk about how she needs to work hard at school, volunteer in hospitals, etc. to make it as a doctor. But she was already ahead of me. She slowly looked up at me. She looked straight into my eyes and said, "because I want to." Beautiful.
Leila was right. You have to want it. You have to desire it. You have to be willing to make sacrifices for it. You have to take full ownership over you, your actions, your thoughts, your dreams. Only then will you make it. Is it possible you will fail? Yes. But you will feel much worse if you never try. Make your life into what you want it to be. It may mean making tough choices, withdrawing from less important pursuits and responsibilities, and saying no to a lot of people and other things. If something comes up and seems like an unbeatable obstacle, take it on, don't back down, don't give up. The world will challenge you. It wants to test how much you really want something. Rise to the test. Show the world what you are really made of.
Sometimes you will find that you can't overcome a roadblock. We have to be realistic here. But don't throw away everything you have accomplished to that point. Look back. Reflect. Think about what you have learned while on this journey. You may find that the roadblock is more like a street sign, pointing you in a better direction. Open your eyes to that possibility.
No matter what may happen to you, whether you are riding higher than ever, or so low that you don't think you can get back up for another round, always remember that you decide whether to die or endure, fail or succeed, and only you ultimately are responsible for which it is.
Goodnight all!
J.M. "Welly" Maw
There is no way better to say this. This speaks to me. It tells me that you make your life, not that life makes you. Time to step into the game and begin to play it with a renewed sense of purpose and possibility.
One of my favorite things to do with my daughter Leila is to listen to her play "make believe." There is nothing more entertaining and great for her to be doing as a five year old. Just the other day, she put on a tiny white lab coat, a plastic stethoscope around her neck, and a plastic clipboard with a prescription pad in her hands. She quite proudly exclaimed that she was "Dr. Leila" and that she was helping her sick stuffed toys get better. I asked her a simple question, "why do you want to be a doctor?" "Because I want to help people," was her quick reply. I let out one more question, "how are you going to become a doctor?" I thought I would stump her for a second with this query. I could then talk about how she needs to work hard at school, volunteer in hospitals, etc. to make it as a doctor. But she was already ahead of me. She slowly looked up at me. She looked straight into my eyes and said, "because I want to." Beautiful.
Leila was right. You have to want it. You have to desire it. You have to be willing to make sacrifices for it. You have to take full ownership over you, your actions, your thoughts, your dreams. Only then will you make it. Is it possible you will fail? Yes. But you will feel much worse if you never try. Make your life into what you want it to be. It may mean making tough choices, withdrawing from less important pursuits and responsibilities, and saying no to a lot of people and other things. If something comes up and seems like an unbeatable obstacle, take it on, don't back down, don't give up. The world will challenge you. It wants to test how much you really want something. Rise to the test. Show the world what you are really made of.
Sometimes you will find that you can't overcome a roadblock. We have to be realistic here. But don't throw away everything you have accomplished to that point. Look back. Reflect. Think about what you have learned while on this journey. You may find that the roadblock is more like a street sign, pointing you in a better direction. Open your eyes to that possibility.
No matter what may happen to you, whether you are riding higher than ever, or so low that you don't think you can get back up for another round, always remember that you decide whether to die or endure, fail or succeed, and only you ultimately are responsible for which it is.
Goodnight all!
J.M. "Welly" Maw
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Limitless
Have you ever wondered what you are capable of? Did you ever think about achieving something great? I bet you have. I know I have many times in my life. Whether it was an inspirational story about how someone achieved an amazing feat or the lyrics of a song made me believe I could achieve something greater. Consequently, I would say to myself, 'I can do this! I know I can!'
But something happened. Actually, more like nothing happened. Something stopped me, made me abandon my pursuit.
I got scared. I feared the unknown. It would mean pushing myself to new levels. But there was more. Not only was there personal fear, but the limiting responses and views of other people added to inhibition. Not only did I question my own abilities, but I felt others did as well.
So many times in my life have I been sparked to reach new heights. I felt limitless in terms of my capabilities and what I could achieve. Whether it was aspiring to be a world-class athlete or a top-notch student affairs professional. But there was always that self-doubt or that fear of failure waiting to show its ugly side. This fear ultimately overcame me, putting a glass ceiling on what I felt I could do, always leaving my aspirations on the outside of the glass, with me looking at them from the inside. I crumbled, fell victim to my fear and self-doubt and gave in. Usually I tried to make myself feel 'better' by saying that it was silly of me to think I could do that, or that I didn't have the time to really make it happen, and the list of excuses would go on.
Sadly, this is so true for many of us. We simply move along, within the comfort zone of what we know we can do, because we are doing it, but fearing to take any risks to be better or the best at something, while regrets fill our souls as dreams pass us by.
Fortunately it doesn't have to be this way. If we all lived like this, there would be no innovation, no pushing the bar higher. Take a look at Steve Jobs, Usain Bolt and Bono. All of them seen the glass ceiling. But they persevered. Not only did they break through it, they obliterated this self-imposed boundary. How did they do it?
They were ferociously passionate and completely committed to their dream. Whether it was making the iPod, shattering world records on the track or redefining pop music - they never strayed from their dream or their goals. They never let those who can't see past their own self-imposed limit stop them from going for it.
Commitment meant taking criticism and holding it at bay. Yes, sometimes criticism can help you shape your progress in order to be more successful, but most times, it is someone else projecting their fears and their limits onto you. Don't let some other person's fear or doubt limit you. Stay limitless. Dream big, achieve greatness.
Devote yourself to your aspiration. Make it your primary focus. Dedicate all the time you can to making it a reality. Believe in your abilities and your potential to be the next big thing. Overcome your fear and break the barriers.
You might be the next Gandhi, but you'll never know if you don't go for it. Be strong, be limitless!
J.M. "Welly" Maw
But something happened. Actually, more like nothing happened. Something stopped me, made me abandon my pursuit.
I got scared. I feared the unknown. It would mean pushing myself to new levels. But there was more. Not only was there personal fear, but the limiting responses and views of other people added to inhibition. Not only did I question my own abilities, but I felt others did as well.
So many times in my life have I been sparked to reach new heights. I felt limitless in terms of my capabilities and what I could achieve. Whether it was aspiring to be a world-class athlete or a top-notch student affairs professional. But there was always that self-doubt or that fear of failure waiting to show its ugly side. This fear ultimately overcame me, putting a glass ceiling on what I felt I could do, always leaving my aspirations on the outside of the glass, with me looking at them from the inside. I crumbled, fell victim to my fear and self-doubt and gave in. Usually I tried to make myself feel 'better' by saying that it was silly of me to think I could do that, or that I didn't have the time to really make it happen, and the list of excuses would go on.
Sadly, this is so true for many of us. We simply move along, within the comfort zone of what we know we can do, because we are doing it, but fearing to take any risks to be better or the best at something, while regrets fill our souls as dreams pass us by.
Fortunately it doesn't have to be this way. If we all lived like this, there would be no innovation, no pushing the bar higher. Take a look at Steve Jobs, Usain Bolt and Bono. All of them seen the glass ceiling. But they persevered. Not only did they break through it, they obliterated this self-imposed boundary. How did they do it?
They were ferociously passionate and completely committed to their dream. Whether it was making the iPod, shattering world records on the track or redefining pop music - they never strayed from their dream or their goals. They never let those who can't see past their own self-imposed limit stop them from going for it.
Commitment meant taking criticism and holding it at bay. Yes, sometimes criticism can help you shape your progress in order to be more successful, but most times, it is someone else projecting their fears and their limits onto you. Don't let some other person's fear or doubt limit you. Stay limitless. Dream big, achieve greatness.
Devote yourself to your aspiration. Make it your primary focus. Dedicate all the time you can to making it a reality. Believe in your abilities and your potential to be the next big thing. Overcome your fear and break the barriers.
You might be the next Gandhi, but you'll never know if you don't go for it. Be strong, be limitless!
J.M. "Welly" Maw
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Good Book = Good Leadership = Good Life
Robin Sharma - keep doing what you are doing! If you want a good book full of quick messages that make your mind spin, your ideas flow and your dreams abound - pick up The Greatness Guide by success coach Robin Sharma!
Most people I talk to, who are serious about developing their leadership and their life success, have read "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari". Great title. Phenomenal book. The Greatness Guide gives the reader 101 pieces of advice, which are usually only 1 - 2 pages in length, that hit home in a hurry. When I first saw this book, I thought to myself, "Robin Sharma... I should give this book a try... I enjoyed his other book," and with that I found myself looking for every opportunity to read it. Whether you have 5 minutes or 2 hours, this book fits into your schedule perfectly. If you want a book that will make a quick impact in your life, this is it! Read it and reap the rewards. You won't be sorry... and if you want more, there's "The Greatness Guide 2" waiting afterward.
Just a thought... if more leaders in this world followed a few of Robin's points, the world would be in a much better place than it is today. Think about these chapter titles... Drink Coffee with Gandhi... Listen Twice As Much As You Speak... Grow Leaders Fast... Lead Without Title... Learn More To Earn More... and the list goes on and on. Robin Sharma, a "world class" author.
Let me know what your thoughts are on this book, or any other book on self-actualization, leadership, etc.
Jan-Michael "Welly" Maw
For more on Robin Sharma, click here!
Most people I talk to, who are serious about developing their leadership and their life success, have read "The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari". Great title. Phenomenal book. The Greatness Guide gives the reader 101 pieces of advice, which are usually only 1 - 2 pages in length, that hit home in a hurry. When I first saw this book, I thought to myself, "Robin Sharma... I should give this book a try... I enjoyed his other book," and with that I found myself looking for every opportunity to read it. Whether you have 5 minutes or 2 hours, this book fits into your schedule perfectly. If you want a book that will make a quick impact in your life, this is it! Read it and reap the rewards. You won't be sorry... and if you want more, there's "The Greatness Guide 2" waiting afterward.
Just a thought... if more leaders in this world followed a few of Robin's points, the world would be in a much better place than it is today. Think about these chapter titles... Drink Coffee with Gandhi... Listen Twice As Much As You Speak... Grow Leaders Fast... Lead Without Title... Learn More To Earn More... and the list goes on and on. Robin Sharma, a "world class" author.
Let me know what your thoughts are on this book, or any other book on self-actualization, leadership, etc.
Jan-Michael "Welly" Maw
For more on Robin Sharma, click here!
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