Last week, I spent a day and a half at the University College of the Cayman Islands (UCCI) taking in some great keynote speakers and some enlightening sessions from local and international presenters during the 2nd International Conference on Leadership, Governance and Empowerment in the Caribbean. It was great to see that the conference had a regional focus to it as I feel sometimes Cayman focuses too much inward and not enough on the region it is a part of - the Caribbean.
Hands down, one of the best sessions I took in was entitled Youth Perspectives on Leadership and Governance and the onlookers were treated to a presentation from a couple students from the UWI campus in Jamaica, and then Felix Manzanares, youth student leader and pastor, and Richard Christian, who is the Young UDP co-leader.
It was great to see the passion and the energy that these youth showed and demonstrated in their presentations. I was impressed with it and excited to see it. I feel most of the crowd (which packed the room so it was standing room only) was captivated by the emotion and engagement of the speakers.
One of the things that I noticed was that the youth was decrying the lack of leadership in the current political leaders in the country and that if youth was asked to be involved or consulted for input, it was more a token action, rather than a genuine interest and act to involve youth in the political decision-making process. This has led to a disinterest and a cynicism of the political process. Disenfranchisement of the youth of Cayman. I interpreted this feeling to have generated from this form of tokenism or flat out ignoring their voice.
A highlight for me was the idealism and principle-centred messages coming from the young Caymanians. They were standing tall for honor, integrity, and service from political leaders. It was refreshing to see. I hope, I really really hope, that these individuals will stand tall and be leaders in the political arena in the future, but not leaders following the paths of the present. We need the youth to be transformational leaders! Leaders who will question the current ways and systems, and serve the community and society first, and elevate ALL of Cayman, not just the wealthy and corporate interests. We can all hope and champion the youth to be the answer to Cayman's woes and political and socioeconomic inequities.
At the end of the session, I tapped Felix on the shoulder, and passed him a note. The note had a book by Robert Greenleaf entitled "Servant Leadership" and I also shared with him the name Kent Keith who has really pushed the concept of servant leadership forward. It was introduced in the 1960s but has really began to gain centre stage in the business and leadership guru community. So much so that a lot of leadership and business experts such as Stephen Covey, Robin Sharma and Peter Drucker have all spoke of the need to lead by serving first and foremost.
The Moment...
I am excited for the future leaders of this country and I hope they will maintain the idealism and servant mentality that is so important for political and civil servants to have to really make an impact to benefit ALL of this country's people. Youth leaders such a Felix and Richard are standing at a fork in the road, between choosing to be real leaders for this country or just another follower of the old, and ineffective, ways of political and social actors. I hope they stand tall for service, principles and change for the betterment of all. Stay strong my friends and take this moment to decide what leaders you really are.
Welly out...
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Linkin Music to Life
Linkin Park - A Thousand Suns
I have recently started listening to this album and I enjoy the mix of the sound with the lyrics. Each song brings something to the table and is unique in its message, and delivers that message differently each time. I really have dug this album for the last few weeks and find myself really stuck on it. If you haven't, you should check this album out. You will likely enjoy it, even if you aren't a fan of the genre.
One thing that I find really powerful is music. I know that when I feel down, the type of music I play will either help me or keep me down. Recently, I have been really dealing with some life changing events and decisions that will need to be made. How I have dealt with the mental, emotional and physical roller coaster of stress during this time has been aided greatly by music. If I have felt down, I pop in something that has a positive vibe to it and that will uplift me and make me feel better. I may even put on a song like, "When They Come For Me" that, to me anyways, sounds like a person who has defied the odds and risen above the crowd and been his own person. That gives me the strength at times to feel like I can overcome whatever may come my way and helps me push forward with my life plan.
Music is important to me. It breathes life into my life. Let it motivate you, inspire you and help you move forward. Pick your music wisely and feel it work its magic.
Feel free to leave a comment on how music has impacted your life and how you use it in your life. I would love to hear about it.
QUOTE: "Whether you prevail or fail, endure or die, depends more on what you do to yourself than on what the world does to you." ~ Jim Collins
Yes, I have used this one before, but it is too good to not repeat.
Welly out!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Sunday Beach Musings...
I have to admit, I am quite fortunate to be able to look out over the warm Caribbean Sea from a white sandy beach every Sunday afternoon with my daughter Leila. For last few weeks, we have made this our father-daughter ritual, and so far it has been amazing for both of us. She gets to spend time playing in the sand and water, running into the odd friend she knows, and gets to have fun outside like every 6 year old child should. I, on the other hand, get to relax, spend time chatting with friends who usually drop in to see us, and think over whatever comes to my mind.
Today was an eventful day as the local Catholic Church had a beach BBQ capped off with games for all the children who attended. The playing area was less than 2 feet from our lounging area on the beach and was full of balloon tosses, soccer games and tug of wars. Also, Sunday is the beach volleyball league's game day so there was lots of activity. Nevertheless, I got to see and think a lot of things over between all of this and the company of Jeremy and Sam, who joined us after we arrived.
It is what it is: I, just like most people I know, know their own culture and its values while being somewhat ignorant of different cultures and how they may see things. Recently, I met a friend who had helped me through quite a number of challenging situations. She was great at lifting me when I thought I wasn't going to stay afloat, giving good advice when I needed it, and making me laugh when I thought I couldn't possibly feel happy again. She was a ray of light for me in dark times. I don't believe in one-sided friendships, so I gave her support which I thought I could do best. I helped her with trying to plan out her career path, work advice, and offered support when she felt down and unsure of herself in anyway. Naturally, when you both share deeply, you tend to get closer and want to spend time with each other. However, both of us have realized that our cultures do not see our friendship in the same way - and this has caused problems for us going forward. For example, her culture does not see a male-female relationship as something that is appropriate for a woman who is in a relationship. This is evident as she feels pressured by others who have saw her spending time with me as they will see this as a negative characteristic in her and something that a "woman shouldn't do with another man" despite the complete absence of any wrongdoing and it being 100 percent innocent. She told me this and said that because of her culture, she does not think she can spend as much time with me or be seen with me. At first I was a little hurt by this as one would be when a friend pulls back from a relationship. You feel dejected and put out. However, she understands how it could be seen and how it could hurt her relationship with her partner. That's understandable to me that she would not want to jeopardize her relationship. If she loves that person, she should do what she has to do to keep that safe and protected.
On the other hand though, you have to see it as society making something out of nothing. One thing I have found is that people love to talk. They will talk about anything, talk about nothing, and talk for talk sakes. Call it gossip if you want. Sometimes it is innocent, as someone will share some news with another person. Other times, it is said with a purpose and an ill one at that. Now I feel society likes to make more out of a friendship between a man and a woman. It is like a man and woman, in society's wisdom, can only have a sexual relationship, where both are unable to defend themselves from the wiles of the other! Society paints a man like a bumbling fool, someone who cannot say no to any carnal urge, while a woman is a siren, waiting to seduce a man into her trap. I think this is absolute hogwash. People make their own choices and decide which desires to follow and which are not 'right'. Regardless of a friendship being man-to-man, woman-to-woman or man-to-woman, any such relationship has just as much likelihood of being more or less based on sexual attraction. But society would have us think otherwise.
However, it is what it is. I have resigned myself to the fact that what I spoke of above is especially true of her culture. My culture is somewhat less enslaved to this archaic concept of appropriateness, but still people like to make it mean more than what it is if they see it too. Out of respect to her, I will honour her wishes and let this friendship slide its way towards acquaintanceship. I will miss it, but it is what it is.
Assumptions...: I really like the saying, "it is what it is." Sam told me today that it is a very Canadian saying. Maybe she is right. I heard it from a counselor I am seeing about a month ago. It is so beautiful because it is simple. Yet, it is one of the hardest things for people to do. Instead of taking things for what they are, people think that there must be some ulterior motive, or that they have to read between the lines. This leads to a beautiful thing called - assumptions. Getting back to the above point, assumptions are what is limiting a friendship. Assumptions on what is appropriate for friends who are of opposite sexes to be doing. Honestly, I joke all the time that my first name is unisex, but maybe deep down inside, it is a bit of a poke at gender identity which has been socialized into our cultures. Girls wear pink... boys wear blue... girls like dolls.... while boys play with action figures... the list could go on and on! But why do these things matter! Well, if a boy plays with dolls and wears pink, society will assume that he is like gay and will paint him with the flaming brush, not matter what the boy truly feels is his sexual orientation. Dolls + pink + boy = gay. It is straight assumption math, my dear Watson. It is too bad society, and the people who drive these stereotypes, can't sit back and say to themselves, "it is what it is".... "it is a boy who likes dolls and prefers pink." Nothing more, nothing less. I hope one day we can all take a step back from the baggage claim, as Jason Barger would say, and reexamine what we label as what and how we make assumptions based on what we THINK we see and THINK we know. It is what it is i guess.
Relationships: One thing the beach did show me was the power of spending time with those we care about. It was evident all around me that people were truly happy spending time with one another. Nothing else would have brought them as much happiness at that moment. I saw friends laughing and playing sports together, a mother and son teamed up in a water balloon toss game, and family sat around and shared stories and remembered all of the other times they laughed together, sure to add this memory to their repertoire. Relationships are processes, you must stay at them to make them work. If you take them for granted, you will lose them and those you care the most about. Sometimes relationships change, for better or worse, but it is up to each person to make the best out of what they can. If a relationship is unhealthy, you work to make it healthy for both. If you cannot, then you must walk away. Period. I know I have a renewed sense of appreciation for relationships and what they mean. Today on the beach reminded me of this. Also, I really do hope my friendship above can be maintained, but I am happy to see it change if it makes it the best it can be for the both of us.
I hope this was a coherent rant, for it was a rant. You can't call it anything else. At the very least, I hope you didn't feel it was a waste of a few minutes. I know it helps me to get this out, so maybe it will help someone else if they read it... :)
Welly's out for another day...
Today was an eventful day as the local Catholic Church had a beach BBQ capped off with games for all the children who attended. The playing area was less than 2 feet from our lounging area on the beach and was full of balloon tosses, soccer games and tug of wars. Also, Sunday is the beach volleyball league's game day so there was lots of activity. Nevertheless, I got to see and think a lot of things over between all of this and the company of Jeremy and Sam, who joined us after we arrived.
It is what it is: I, just like most people I know, know their own culture and its values while being somewhat ignorant of different cultures and how they may see things. Recently, I met a friend who had helped me through quite a number of challenging situations. She was great at lifting me when I thought I wasn't going to stay afloat, giving good advice when I needed it, and making me laugh when I thought I couldn't possibly feel happy again. She was a ray of light for me in dark times. I don't believe in one-sided friendships, so I gave her support which I thought I could do best. I helped her with trying to plan out her career path, work advice, and offered support when she felt down and unsure of herself in anyway. Naturally, when you both share deeply, you tend to get closer and want to spend time with each other. However, both of us have realized that our cultures do not see our friendship in the same way - and this has caused problems for us going forward. For example, her culture does not see a male-female relationship as something that is appropriate for a woman who is in a relationship. This is evident as she feels pressured by others who have saw her spending time with me as they will see this as a negative characteristic in her and something that a "woman shouldn't do with another man" despite the complete absence of any wrongdoing and it being 100 percent innocent. She told me this and said that because of her culture, she does not think she can spend as much time with me or be seen with me. At first I was a little hurt by this as one would be when a friend pulls back from a relationship. You feel dejected and put out. However, she understands how it could be seen and how it could hurt her relationship with her partner. That's understandable to me that she would not want to jeopardize her relationship. If she loves that person, she should do what she has to do to keep that safe and protected.
On the other hand though, you have to see it as society making something out of nothing. One thing I have found is that people love to talk. They will talk about anything, talk about nothing, and talk for talk sakes. Call it gossip if you want. Sometimes it is innocent, as someone will share some news with another person. Other times, it is said with a purpose and an ill one at that. Now I feel society likes to make more out of a friendship between a man and a woman. It is like a man and woman, in society's wisdom, can only have a sexual relationship, where both are unable to defend themselves from the wiles of the other! Society paints a man like a bumbling fool, someone who cannot say no to any carnal urge, while a woman is a siren, waiting to seduce a man into her trap. I think this is absolute hogwash. People make their own choices and decide which desires to follow and which are not 'right'. Regardless of a friendship being man-to-man, woman-to-woman or man-to-woman, any such relationship has just as much likelihood of being more or less based on sexual attraction. But society would have us think otherwise.
However, it is what it is. I have resigned myself to the fact that what I spoke of above is especially true of her culture. My culture is somewhat less enslaved to this archaic concept of appropriateness, but still people like to make it mean more than what it is if they see it too. Out of respect to her, I will honour her wishes and let this friendship slide its way towards acquaintanceship. I will miss it, but it is what it is.
Assumptions...: I really like the saying, "it is what it is." Sam told me today that it is a very Canadian saying. Maybe she is right. I heard it from a counselor I am seeing about a month ago. It is so beautiful because it is simple. Yet, it is one of the hardest things for people to do. Instead of taking things for what they are, people think that there must be some ulterior motive, or that they have to read between the lines. This leads to a beautiful thing called - assumptions. Getting back to the above point, assumptions are what is limiting a friendship. Assumptions on what is appropriate for friends who are of opposite sexes to be doing. Honestly, I joke all the time that my first name is unisex, but maybe deep down inside, it is a bit of a poke at gender identity which has been socialized into our cultures. Girls wear pink... boys wear blue... girls like dolls.... while boys play with action figures... the list could go on and on! But why do these things matter! Well, if a boy plays with dolls and wears pink, society will assume that he is like gay and will paint him with the flaming brush, not matter what the boy truly feels is his sexual orientation. Dolls + pink + boy = gay. It is straight assumption math, my dear Watson. It is too bad society, and the people who drive these stereotypes, can't sit back and say to themselves, "it is what it is".... "it is a boy who likes dolls and prefers pink." Nothing more, nothing less. I hope one day we can all take a step back from the baggage claim, as Jason Barger would say, and reexamine what we label as what and how we make assumptions based on what we THINK we see and THINK we know. It is what it is i guess.
Relationships: One thing the beach did show me was the power of spending time with those we care about. It was evident all around me that people were truly happy spending time with one another. Nothing else would have brought them as much happiness at that moment. I saw friends laughing and playing sports together, a mother and son teamed up in a water balloon toss game, and family sat around and shared stories and remembered all of the other times they laughed together, sure to add this memory to their repertoire. Relationships are processes, you must stay at them to make them work. If you take them for granted, you will lose them and those you care the most about. Sometimes relationships change, for better or worse, but it is up to each person to make the best out of what they can. If a relationship is unhealthy, you work to make it healthy for both. If you cannot, then you must walk away. Period. I know I have a renewed sense of appreciation for relationships and what they mean. Today on the beach reminded me of this. Also, I really do hope my friendship above can be maintained, but I am happy to see it change if it makes it the best it can be for the both of us.
I hope this was a coherent rant, for it was a rant. You can't call it anything else. At the very least, I hope you didn't feel it was a waste of a few minutes. I know it helps me to get this out, so maybe it will help someone else if they read it... :)
Welly's out for another day...
Friday, January 7, 2011
Reflections for the Year 2011
Welly is back with some thoughts on what 2011 might be like. It could be full of twists and turns and may even surprise us all. But who really knows what is in store for you, me, your friends, and your loved ones. However, there are some things that we can all do to make 2011 the best it can be for us. Here are my new year resolutions for 2011 that I hope will serve me well and lead me to more prosperity and happiness:
Welly's out.
- It's okay to take "me" time! I have heard countless times that people need to devote themselves to their significant others to be happy. I don't agree with that. I think people must make sure they are happy and balanced in all facets of life, before they can truly serve and be there for others. Personally speaking, I had let my physical health deteriorate since my university days in Canada. I gained weight with my wife when she was pregnant, and kept on doing so for 6 years after that! This December, I made me first serious commitment to getting leaner and more fit and it has been a major success so far. Not only do I look better, but i feel better too. It has had a major impact on other areas of my life. Don't get me wrong, I strongly believe that one should serve those in need and help society in general to be better off. But it takes a healthy self first, before you can truly be your best when serving others.
- Appreciate the here and now. There has been many moments in my life when I have felt as though my life was passing me by. It was like I was on auto-pilot, moving, but without any sense of being able to steer where I was going, or how fast I was traveling. Schedules and routine can be very useful and necessary, but sometimes you need to get off the treadmill. Treadmills are great for exercise, but you never move forward if you are always on them. Take a moment and step off. Appreciate what you have around you and take in the sights and smells of your journey. Sometimes, that may be as simple as getting up early and watching the sun rise over the water. Maybe it is taking a moment to appreciate those close to you. Stop and show them how you feel. Believe me when I say having a life plan is important, but don't be too busy for the here and now. You only get one chance to experience the present, don't let it slip by and then regret missing it.
- Create (or refine) your life plan. Life plan, goals, aspirations, whatever you want to call it, it doesn't matter, but you should always have a plan in terms of what you are striving for. The best way to create this is to break up your life into its various components. Think about your physical, mental, spiritual, career, family and love sectors. What is it that you wish to achieve (or maintain) in each of these spheres. People with a healthy balance make sure to address each of these areas, without overcompensating or neglecting any areas. This has been a challenge for me personally, as i feel a few of these areas have been left with little attention and guidance. No better time then the present to start remedying this situation. If you want some good inspiration, Robin Sharma, Stephen Covey and other leadership and motivational authors are great at helping you begin to set a clear path towards excellence in life.
- Live life by your values. I have faced many challenges in my life, and when I was younger, I decided to take the wrong path, the choice of less resistance, but it was usually the wrong thing to do. Instead of living by my core values, I acted against them. Afterward, I felt a nagging rotten feeling in the pit of my stomach. I knew I acted wrongly, and my body and soul was telling me so. Over time, I have strengthened my determination to live life by my values, not willing to compromise who I am and what I stand for. It may mean facing unfair scrutiny and being seen as an outlier as you stand alone at times. But if you act within your values, you will be at peace with yourself. Remember, who do you spend the most time with... you of course!
- Have fun! What needs to be said here... live life to the fullest. Take time to enjoy your loved ones and the pleasures of life. Life isn't worth living if you cannot enjoy it.
Welly's out.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Real Time with Welly
I admit that I get quite the kick from watching Bill Maher on HBO. I find his guests to be interesting and his panel discussions entertaining and educational. But, I most enjoy the show when there is heated debate as differing opinions and view points are passionately discussed by the panelists and Bill.
I find this adversarial and confrontational atmosphere brings the best out of the participants and really puts the viewer in a better position to make a call on what they think is the best argument that either confirms or challenges their previous notion on what is the "right" answer or position. It's almost fitting it is on HBO, because the panel was a squared-ring setting, they could package it as Intellectual HBO Boxing!
O_o...Anyways... some people find it really hard to honestly consider the other side of a topic. Especially when they have already decided to bat for the other team. Why is that? Why would someone not want to challenge a belief or notion they have about something? There are a few reasons.
Most people hate change. They don't want to leave their comfort zone. They'd rather stagnate in the familiar confines of mediocrity. Considering the possibility that "the other side" might be right would pop their reality bubble - and that would mean change in a big way. It is safer to "irrationalize" away the plausibility. Think of a child who doesn't want to hear what you are saying because they know you are right. They simply put a finger in each ear and loudly sing "la la la la..." and drown out your message when you are talking to them. Effective, but definitely limiting their ability to think outside of their personal box.
Related to fear of change is the fear that your current beliefs and values might not be true. Opening yourself up to really hear and try to understand a different viewpoint or an argument that tries to refute your beliefs is not easy to do. To do so means being open to completely reevaluating how you live your life, how you interact with people, how you interpret the world around you. That is intimidating to say the least. Maybe even ground-shaking! What if your conviction is shaken? What if you "life model" is broken? Houston, we may have a problem!
These scary outcomes should be reason enough to say that living life on autopilot may be the best choice. Well, consider this! Strengthening your convictions and values comes from testing them, challenging them, trying to break them. How do you know if you really 'believe' something to be true and right for you if you never test it?! You can't know, you won't know until you try to pull them at the seams to see if they will break. It is okay to remain indecisive and to fully and properly weigh both sides of an argument. That makes sense to me. Voraciously digest all relevant and differing positions on a topic, challenge your belief, make it pass the test! Only then will you know why you believe and stand behind what you do.
Blind faith is nothing more than that... blind.... and afraid to face any challenge, lest it fails. Tested faith is what you should strive for. Don't lock yourself into something until you KNOW it is the right decision for you and your character.
Next time you see a show like Real Time with Bill Maher, don't roll your eyes and say to yourself, "this show is bias and is full of crap," but instead turn it on and really listen to what is being said. If it goes against your stance on the topic, honestly and openly challenge your views by trying to understand the differing opinion. Put your prior analysis to the test to see if it passes! The same can be said when you agree with one panelist's argument. Open your mind and heart up to the counter argument and really put the screws to your personal stance. Never quit questioning and challenging! Only then will you grow more confident in your chosen values.
I can't wait to see what is on this Friday night... Seth MacFarlane always has some interesting things to say! I wonder if Stewie and Brian, the talking dog, will make an appearance. I love their banter.
Welly's out...
I find this adversarial and confrontational atmosphere brings the best out of the participants and really puts the viewer in a better position to make a call on what they think is the best argument that either confirms or challenges their previous notion on what is the "right" answer or position. It's almost fitting it is on HBO, because the panel was a squared-ring setting, they could package it as Intellectual HBO Boxing!
O_o...Anyways... some people find it really hard to honestly consider the other side of a topic. Especially when they have already decided to bat for the other team. Why is that? Why would someone not want to challenge a belief or notion they have about something? There are a few reasons.
Most people hate change. They don't want to leave their comfort zone. They'd rather stagnate in the familiar confines of mediocrity. Considering the possibility that "the other side" might be right would pop their reality bubble - and that would mean change in a big way. It is safer to "irrationalize" away the plausibility. Think of a child who doesn't want to hear what you are saying because they know you are right. They simply put a finger in each ear and loudly sing "la la la la..." and drown out your message when you are talking to them. Effective, but definitely limiting their ability to think outside of their personal box.
Related to fear of change is the fear that your current beliefs and values might not be true. Opening yourself up to really hear and try to understand a different viewpoint or an argument that tries to refute your beliefs is not easy to do. To do so means being open to completely reevaluating how you live your life, how you interact with people, how you interpret the world around you. That is intimidating to say the least. Maybe even ground-shaking! What if your conviction is shaken? What if you "life model" is broken? Houston, we may have a problem!
These scary outcomes should be reason enough to say that living life on autopilot may be the best choice. Well, consider this! Strengthening your convictions and values comes from testing them, challenging them, trying to break them. How do you know if you really 'believe' something to be true and right for you if you never test it?! You can't know, you won't know until you try to pull them at the seams to see if they will break. It is okay to remain indecisive and to fully and properly weigh both sides of an argument. That makes sense to me. Voraciously digest all relevant and differing positions on a topic, challenge your belief, make it pass the test! Only then will you know why you believe and stand behind what you do.
Blind faith is nothing more than that... blind.... and afraid to face any challenge, lest it fails. Tested faith is what you should strive for. Don't lock yourself into something until you KNOW it is the right decision for you and your character.
Next time you see a show like Real Time with Bill Maher, don't roll your eyes and say to yourself, "this show is bias and is full of crap," but instead turn it on and really listen to what is being said. If it goes against your stance on the topic, honestly and openly challenge your views by trying to understand the differing opinion. Put your prior analysis to the test to see if it passes! The same can be said when you agree with one panelist's argument. Open your mind and heart up to the counter argument and really put the screws to your personal stance. Never quit questioning and challenging! Only then will you grow more confident in your chosen values.
I can't wait to see what is on this Friday night... Seth MacFarlane always has some interesting things to say! I wonder if Stewie and Brian, the talking dog, will make an appearance. I love their banter.
Welly's out...
Saturday, September 11, 2010
May The "Johari" Be With You!
I love to learn. It keeps my mind sharp. Words on the page of a book intermix with my thoughts in my head to create an imagination full of possibilities and opportunities. I enjoy that as I feel inspired and refreshed everytime.
Currently I am pursuing my MBA and began classes a week ago. My organizational behavior class has been great so far. In fact, I look forward to my readings and the discussions within our online forums every time. The reason I enrolled in the class was to learn more about management, organizations, and corporate leadership. Boy, did I underestimate what I would take away from this course!
Hey! Get this... Have you ever really considered how much you know about someone? Whether it is your husband or wife, best friend, child, co-worker or a stranger... it doesn't matter... I can tell you this...you don't know as much as you think. Funnily enough, they don't know themselves as well as they may think either. Take a look at this...
The Johari Window, named after two dudes Joseph Luft and Harry Ingram, tells us an interesting story. Let me explain. Everyone knows the "open area" of an individual. It is what we show to everyone when we interact with them, and we are aware of this ourselves. But, there are two quadrants that are hidden (or blind) which conceals information or characteristics from others, or ourselves in the case of the blind section. There is even an unknown quadrant that is buried deep within someone, so much so, that the person themselves is not aware of it. Kinda scary...
So Welly, what's your point?
As people, we usually are quick to jump to a conclusion about others we meet. For example, you may meet someone who is sleeping on the side of the street, wearing dirty raggedly clothes, unshaven and smelling of alcohol. Almost immediately, you begin to make assumptions. You may think that he has no money, he is an alcoholic, has no job, lazy, doesn't care about his looks, and the list could go on and on. Before you know it, you have already labeled this person and boxed him into a corner. All of these ideas and assumptions begin with 1/4 of the picture - which is the "open area" in the Johari Window. Perhaps, he is unaware of some of his issues and characteristics - this would be a part his "blind area". If you stop to think about it... you have based your label or opinion on, at best, one half of what there is to known or learn about someone. There's a lot of missing information in that equation! You know nothing about the hidden area, which he keeps to himself. Perhaps he is simply traveling through the area, trying to experience life differently from what he is used to, a life of luxury and riches. Who knows! You don't! Only he does. Don't forget about the "unknown area".
Time to consciously stop making snap judgments on people we meet. Take a moment and make an effort to really get to know the person. Simply by getting to know someone, you may even help them learn more about themselves by sharing some of their "blind" spots with them. This sharing will likely lead them to open up some of there "hidden" treasures to you. Before you know it, you will begin to know the real person standing in front of you. Awesome. Imagine all the people out there who you may truly not know. Time to make the effort to really get to know them. Break them out of the prison you created out of your assumptions and bias judgments. You may find some diamonds in the rough, so to speak.
With that, Welly out and... May the "Johari" be with you!
Currently I am pursuing my MBA and began classes a week ago. My organizational behavior class has been great so far. In fact, I look forward to my readings and the discussions within our online forums every time. The reason I enrolled in the class was to learn more about management, organizations, and corporate leadership. Boy, did I underestimate what I would take away from this course!
Hey! Get this... Have you ever really considered how much you know about someone? Whether it is your husband or wife, best friend, child, co-worker or a stranger... it doesn't matter... I can tell you this...you don't know as much as you think. Funnily enough, they don't know themselves as well as they may think either. Take a look at this...
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| Source: McShane & Von Glinow. (2010). Organizational Behavior. 5th Ed. New York, NY: McGraw-Hill Irwin |
So Welly, what's your point?
As people, we usually are quick to jump to a conclusion about others we meet. For example, you may meet someone who is sleeping on the side of the street, wearing dirty raggedly clothes, unshaven and smelling of alcohol. Almost immediately, you begin to make assumptions. You may think that he has no money, he is an alcoholic, has no job, lazy, doesn't care about his looks, and the list could go on and on. Before you know it, you have already labeled this person and boxed him into a corner. All of these ideas and assumptions begin with 1/4 of the picture - which is the "open area" in the Johari Window. Perhaps, he is unaware of some of his issues and characteristics - this would be a part his "blind area". If you stop to think about it... you have based your label or opinion on, at best, one half of what there is to known or learn about someone. There's a lot of missing information in that equation! You know nothing about the hidden area, which he keeps to himself. Perhaps he is simply traveling through the area, trying to experience life differently from what he is used to, a life of luxury and riches. Who knows! You don't! Only he does. Don't forget about the "unknown area".
Time to consciously stop making snap judgments on people we meet. Take a moment and make an effort to really get to know the person. Simply by getting to know someone, you may even help them learn more about themselves by sharing some of their "blind" spots with them. This sharing will likely lead them to open up some of there "hidden" treasures to you. Before you know it, you will begin to know the real person standing in front of you. Awesome. Imagine all the people out there who you may truly not know. Time to make the effort to really get to know them. Break them out of the prison you created out of your assumptions and bias judgments. You may find some diamonds in the rough, so to speak.
With that, Welly out and... May the "Johari" be with you!
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Dr. Leila takes on the World!
"Whether you prevail or fail, endure or die, depends more on what you do to yourself than on what the world does to you." ~ Jim Collins
There is no way better to say this. This speaks to me. It tells me that you make your life, not that life makes you. Time to step into the game and begin to play it with a renewed sense of purpose and possibility.
One of my favorite things to do with my daughter Leila is to listen to her play "make believe." There is nothing more entertaining and great for her to be doing as a five year old. Just the other day, she put on a tiny white lab coat, a plastic stethoscope around her neck, and a plastic clipboard with a prescription pad in her hands. She quite proudly exclaimed that she was "Dr. Leila" and that she was helping her sick stuffed toys get better. I asked her a simple question, "why do you want to be a doctor?" "Because I want to help people," was her quick reply. I let out one more question, "how are you going to become a doctor?" I thought I would stump her for a second with this query. I could then talk about how she needs to work hard at school, volunteer in hospitals, etc. to make it as a doctor. But she was already ahead of me. She slowly looked up at me. She looked straight into my eyes and said, "because I want to." Beautiful.
Leila was right. You have to want it. You have to desire it. You have to be willing to make sacrifices for it. You have to take full ownership over you, your actions, your thoughts, your dreams. Only then will you make it. Is it possible you will fail? Yes. But you will feel much worse if you never try. Make your life into what you want it to be. It may mean making tough choices, withdrawing from less important pursuits and responsibilities, and saying no to a lot of people and other things. If something comes up and seems like an unbeatable obstacle, take it on, don't back down, don't give up. The world will challenge you. It wants to test how much you really want something. Rise to the test. Show the world what you are really made of.
Sometimes you will find that you can't overcome a roadblock. We have to be realistic here. But don't throw away everything you have accomplished to that point. Look back. Reflect. Think about what you have learned while on this journey. You may find that the roadblock is more like a street sign, pointing you in a better direction. Open your eyes to that possibility.
No matter what may happen to you, whether you are riding higher than ever, or so low that you don't think you can get back up for another round, always remember that you decide whether to die or endure, fail or succeed, and only you ultimately are responsible for which it is.
Goodnight all!
J.M. "Welly" Maw
There is no way better to say this. This speaks to me. It tells me that you make your life, not that life makes you. Time to step into the game and begin to play it with a renewed sense of purpose and possibility.
One of my favorite things to do with my daughter Leila is to listen to her play "make believe." There is nothing more entertaining and great for her to be doing as a five year old. Just the other day, she put on a tiny white lab coat, a plastic stethoscope around her neck, and a plastic clipboard with a prescription pad in her hands. She quite proudly exclaimed that she was "Dr. Leila" and that she was helping her sick stuffed toys get better. I asked her a simple question, "why do you want to be a doctor?" "Because I want to help people," was her quick reply. I let out one more question, "how are you going to become a doctor?" I thought I would stump her for a second with this query. I could then talk about how she needs to work hard at school, volunteer in hospitals, etc. to make it as a doctor. But she was already ahead of me. She slowly looked up at me. She looked straight into my eyes and said, "because I want to." Beautiful.
Leila was right. You have to want it. You have to desire it. You have to be willing to make sacrifices for it. You have to take full ownership over you, your actions, your thoughts, your dreams. Only then will you make it. Is it possible you will fail? Yes. But you will feel much worse if you never try. Make your life into what you want it to be. It may mean making tough choices, withdrawing from less important pursuits and responsibilities, and saying no to a lot of people and other things. If something comes up and seems like an unbeatable obstacle, take it on, don't back down, don't give up. The world will challenge you. It wants to test how much you really want something. Rise to the test. Show the world what you are really made of.
Sometimes you will find that you can't overcome a roadblock. We have to be realistic here. But don't throw away everything you have accomplished to that point. Look back. Reflect. Think about what you have learned while on this journey. You may find that the roadblock is more like a street sign, pointing you in a better direction. Open your eyes to that possibility.
No matter what may happen to you, whether you are riding higher than ever, or so low that you don't think you can get back up for another round, always remember that you decide whether to die or endure, fail or succeed, and only you ultimately are responsible for which it is.
Goodnight all!
J.M. "Welly" Maw
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